Shrimp

Recently, while on vacation in South Carolina, my wife and I were on a date at a Seafood restaurant.  We were enjoying the idea of there not being macaroni and cheese or corn dogs anywhere on the menu.  Simply put, we were ready to have a sophisticated dinner together while enjoying some local fare.  

I ordered local shrimp.  Side note, I’m not sure how the restaurant knew that these shrimp were local.  They could have been just passing through or visiting family, like me.  It didn’t necessarily taste like local shrimp, but I could be wrong.  Anyway, the shrimp comes to the table and, to my surprise, it was peel and eat shrimp.  If you’re not familiar, this is shrimp that has been prepared without taking the shell off...that has now become my job.  This is where the problem lies for me.  

I don’t mind doing work in order to eat, but it seems that if I’m going to go to a restaurant...most of that work should already be done for me.  If I need to prepare a meal from beginning to end, that isn’t a problem.  I’m just not sure that I should have to do this much work while sitting in a restaurant.

First of all, I was delivered a full pound of shrimp.  A full pound!  I don’t eat a full pound of anything...except perhaps peanut m&ms...but that’s a different thing.  It’s not like I could just pop these shrimp into my mouth and enjoy...I had to do work first.  I had to grab each shrimp and peel the shell off before I could eat it.  One would not have been such a problem, but a pound was going to take forever.  I don’t know how much goes into boiling the shrimp, but I’m pretty sure that I did more work at my table than the chef did in preparing what was brought to me.  My server brought me several napkins and a wipe and said, “You might need these.” ...Oh really, you think?  I don’t think I’d be more messy if I had caught the shrimp myself.

So much for a dinner without kids.  I was messier than our daughter has ever been.  So much for conversation.  My dinner needed all of my attention - I had a job to do, I was working.

I discovered something about myself and about food during this dinner.  I’ll work to eat...if I’m at home or in the jungle, but I don’t want to have to do so at a restaurant.  Seriously, why should I have to work so hard to eat a “prepared” meal?  

It also dawned on me that it is only seafood restaurants that ask this much of their patrons.  Never have I ordered a pizza and been asked to “add the pepperoni” once it came to the table.  I’ve been to a fondu restaurant and I had to dip the food into the sauces myself, but I didn’t have to cut all of the food up at my table.

Other food brings similar disdain from me as well.

Unshelled peanuts came to mind.  I don’t need ‘em.  Lots of work with little to eat after the work has been done.  Give ‘em to me already peeled and preferably with chocolate around them.

Sunflower seeds?  No.  If I want a jar full of salt I can get that easier by just eating salt...why do I need to work for hours for a tiny little seed.

Crawfish?  Lobster, Crab, etc.?  Awesome, as long as it has already been shelled...otherwise, see shrimp above.

So...am I a snob?  No.  No, I am not.  I’m just a guy trying to get his grub on without having to break a sweat at the table.

What’s the moral of this story?  Well, there’s not one.  

Actually...there is, but I want you to finish it.  Sure, you are not here to work, but why don’t you anyway?  Why don’t you just go ahead and finish doing my job.  I’ll start preparing a blog post and . . . you can just finish it.  Here goes - 

The moral of this story is _______________________________________________.

Now...aren’t you glad you don’t have to leave me a tip?

Hope you’ve enjoyed reading.  Have a great day.

JJ