An Apple A Day . . .

“The early bird gets the worm.”  What?  I’m not sure this is accurate. Is it?

“Well, it’s 6 of one, half dozen of the other.”  Ok, so now I’ve got to do math to figure out which option is better?

I have heard quite a few “sayings” lately.  These sayings are widely accepted, but are pretty weird.  

I don’t want to use this space to merely recap these sayings, but it would be fun to put a twist on a few.  These should make about as much sense as the ones that you hear as often as I do,

The Top 10 New Idioms and Nonsensical Sayings:

10. An apple a day keeps you going to the market fairly regularly.

9.  Time heals all wounds . . . except the really bad ones that won’t quit bleeding.  For those, you should probably see a doctor.

8.  Every cloud has a silver lining...except the really dark clouds that bring tornadoes.

7.  Lend me your ear...and I’ll promise to be really careful with it.

6.  Preaching to the choir is important, because some of those choir members are just freaks.

5.  Put your best foot forward, but please - wash it or spray something.  Come On!

4.  Don’t rock the boat, especially if you can’t swim.

3.  People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones . . . they shouldn’t be throwing anything really - and they should probably wear somewhat modest clothing.

2.  A penny saved is . . . not very much.

And our #1 newly created Idiom is . . . 

1.  If at first you don’t succeed . . . then you’re probably a loser.

JJ