Mission Complete

Here’s the deal - I’m not exactly a highly refined individual.  I don’t really participate in the finer things in life.  I don’t play golf at the local Country Club.  I don’t drive a $30,000 car...and the car that I do drive was given to me by my sister...she’s pretty nice.  I don’t read the Wall Street Journal or eat at fine dining establishments.

But, I’m not an animal.  

I believe that there are certain things that fall somewhere between animal and refined.  I’m not trying to be picky here, but...well, picky was where I encountered a problem this week.

There I was in the middle of a face to face conversation with a man...when I believe that he crossed that fine line running quickly away from refined.  It wasn’t that he mispronounced a word.  He didn’t use incorrect grammar or fail to recall some world leader’s name.  Those are just slight hiccups in the world of the refined.  What he did was...a little more on the animal end of the spectrum.

He picked his nose.

This wasn’t your garden variety nose scratch and it wasn’t an accidental pick.  This was...a man on a mission.  There was something that was bothering this gentleman and rest would not be had until...his mission was complete.

Cut to me for a minute.  What am I supposed to do?  Here we are in the middle of a conversation.  He hasn’t paused the conversation.  He hasn’t turned away in some sort of a veiled attempt at decorum.  Oh, no...we were face to face . . . and the conversation was happening people!  It was happening!  I didn’t know what to do.  Do I look away?  Do I excuse myself with some pretend emergency.  Do I offer encouragement or direction?  All options were on the table here people.  At this point, I am up for anything.  Anything except what was becoming my reality.  My reality was looking at this man in the eyes while he...searched.

I thought of my wife and child.  I thought of my grandkids that have yet to be born.  I thought of . . . laughing or crying.  I thought of many things, but none seemed to offer either encouragement or solution.  It was becoming apparent that I was in it for the long haul.

Back to the man on a mission.  He dug and dug and then checked his progress.  Listen, I’ve prayed for trapped miners that didn’t go as deep as he did.  He twisted and contorted and seemed to wish his fingers could bend in both directions.  I wouldn’t say that he was double jointed, but he could certainly scratch both ears from inside his nose.  He checked his progress.  He tilted his head and scrunched up his face like a rabid dog trying to chew his own lips.  He checked his progress...

Mission Complete.

Wow, what a jewel he had discovered!  Now, what to do with his prize?  He could have placed it in a tissue or a handkerchief, perhaps.  He could have excused himself at this point and taken care of business.  But he didn’t.  You guessed it...it found its way to the floor of my workplace.  My home away from home.  How could he...?  Why would he...?  

Sure, I’ll just clean that up for you...no really, I’ll get it.

Listen people...I’m not a refined man, but there are some things that just aren’t acceptable.  There are things that you just shouldn’t be subjected to.  Is this too much to ask?  

I don’t mean to oversell this, but...humanity took a hit today.  Decency was damaged and I don’t know how it can recover.

I don’t know how I can recover. 

Look, I’m not trying to pick on this guy...he was doin’ a pretty decent job of that himself.

JJ